Always indecisive? And it drives your loved ones and even you nuts?
Making decisions can be overwhelming, whether it’s deciding what to have for dinner, or weighing up the pros and cons of a job offer. In part it can just be the sheer volume of decisions modern life demands (although the popular quote on the internet that our brains make 35,000 decisions a day is neither proven or realistic, but a case of a statistic someone made up going viral).
Fear and overwhelm play a part. You might feel panicked about making the wrong choice and fear the ramifications of not getting it right. Or overwhelmed by choice and simply unclear about what you want to do with your life.
If you struggle with indecision, there are ways you can make the decision-making process a little easier. Here’s how…
1. Get clear on what you want from life.
Making a decision can be compared to approaching a fork in the road. If you don’t know where you want to end up, it’s more difficult to choose a path forward. Narrowing your choices by getting clear on your life goals is an important step in choosing which way to go.
A well-known study shows that when you streamline your choices you are less likely to put off making a decision.
To conduct the study, researchers at Columbia University set up a booth with jam samples. Every couple of hours they switched the stand from offering 24 different flavours to just six. They found that when six flavours were displayed, people were not only more likely to sample the product, but more likely to make a purchase, too.
Just like the researchers narrowed the available options, take some time to consider what your five biggest goals are in life and use them to guide you.
2. Ask yourself the right questions.
If you’re making a big decision in your life, it can be a confusing and overwhelming time. Asking yourself questions that allow you to really get to the root of what you want and how you really feel is key.
Some questions that might help you get clarity include:
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Is this something I actually want for myself or am I being guided by the opinions of others?
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What is holding me back from making this decision? Fear of the unknown? A lack of confidence in myself? Not having enough information?
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Does this bring me closer to or further away from my goals and values?
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What is my gut telling me?
If it helps, jot your answers down in a journal.
3. Learn to trust yourself.
The fear of getting it wrong is often at the root of indecision. You’re worried that you’ll make the ‘wrong’ choice so you get second opinions from others, and conduct endless research to ensure you get it right.
This may come from a lack of self-trust. You may wrongly believe that if you get this decision wrong you won’t be able to cope with the outcome.
If this is the case, try to recall scenarios where things haven’t turned out just as you might have hoped but you coped regardless. There are likely countless situations where you have risen to an unexpected challenge or found valuable lessons in a setback.
Knowing that you can trust yourself may help you to move forward and make decisions with confidence.
Is your life always a mess? Never know what to choose or how to move forward? Book a therapist now and get the clarity to finally move forward.
Victoria Stokes is a Belfast-based writer focused on mental health, emotional wellbeing, and personal development. She lists espresso martinis and the colour pink among her favourite things. Keep up with her on Instagram.
