"Help! I Hate My Job"

Written by HarleyTherapy.com
by Harley Therapy   |   Workplace Issues
Published

photo by: Bethany Legg

photo by: Bethany Legg

Most of us spent the largest portion of our waking hours in the workplace. So if you’ve decided “I hate my job”, then your mental health can seriously be affected. Workplace stress can roll into anxiety and depression, until you dread waking up every day.
So is quitting your job the answer?
That depends. Here are good questions to ask yourself first.

1. What made you take this job?

Was this the job you wanted? Were you happy at first, but then things just… changed? Or did you take this job because you felt you ‘should’? Because it would make your family happy, or your partner said it was a good idea, or your friends already worked there?
Life rarely works out if we are always trying to please others instead of ourselves.

2. Does this job match your personal values?

Life often comes down to personal values, the things that we deep down always place as important.
We feel good when we make choices in line with our values, but end up frustrated and exhausted if we are living out other people’s values instead.
If you value charity and connection, but your father values wealth so you took the banking job he helped you get? It might be time to talk to a career counsellor to discover how you can take what you know and find a job more in line with what really matters to you.

3. Has the job changed, or have you changed?

Was it your dream job, but now you are bored? Jobs can stay the same, but as people we can learn and grow.
The problem is that for many of us boredom leads to impulsivity. We quit without looking at other options.
If you do like the company, then it might be less about quitting and more about talking to human resources about your future with the company. Either a promotion, more training, or a change of responsibilites.

4. Do you have adult ADHD?

Note that if boredom is always your problem, it’s worth looking into adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It’s a common cause of constant job dissatisfaction and a plateauing career that never sees you reach your potential. Finding an ADHD coach or counsellor can help you excel in the ways you deserve.

5. Are you actually about to self-sabotage?

Is this the first time you quit a job, or is this a pattern? And is there any chance that things were starting to go well for you at work? Was it suggested you might get a promotion? Were you commended for a job well done?
Some of us have very negative core beliefs about ourselves. A difficult childhood, perhaps one we experienced neglect or trauma in, leaves us unconsciously sure we don't deserve good things. And so when good things come along, we sabotage them.
If there is any chance this might be you, seek support before you put yourself back at square one yet again. A good coach, counsellor, or psychotherapist can help you identify the beliefs driving your negative choices and help you replace them with ones that serve you.

6. Are your colleagues or boss upsetting you?

A large amount of workplace dissatisfaction comes down to difficult environments made difficult by other people, not the work itself.
But here’s the big question here - is this a pattern? Are you always ending up in jobs where you feel bullied? Do you never feel approved of by bosses? Or do you never fit in with colleagues?
If so, the problem might be with you. You might, through no fault of your own, be relating to others in ways that sabotage getting along. It’s just that you weren’t modelled good ways of relating as a child, or perhaps have a personality disorder that means you see the world from a different perspective.
The best thing here is to find a counsellor or psychotherapist who can help you with relating skills. Your career will benefit, as will your social life and family life.

7. Is it really the job?

Our jobs are often the easiest thing to blame in life. They don’t, after all, talk back or take it personally.
What’s more, it’s socially acceptable to not like your job. It’s unfortunately not so welcomed if we are having an identity crisis, avoiding facing up to childhood trauma, hating being a parent, or stuck in a marriage that we are truly unhappy in.
But spending the next decade always blaming your job won’t lead anywhere but to misery. Finding the courage to face up to what is actually bothering you, on the other hand, and seeking professional support to sort it out?
Not only can you then feel the great relief of finally being honest with yourself and facing up to long-avoided emotions, you can create space to make better choices. That might mean a new job, or it might be that you discover you actually loved your job all along, and you can stop sabotaging it as a way of punishing yourself and keeping yourself unhappy.
Time to stop blaming the job and start working on yourself? Or just want to talk to a workplace counsellor about the stress you are under? Use our easy booking tool now to find a therapist you like at a price that works for you.
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