Think couples counselling is just for married people who are careening towards a divorce? Think again.
Couples counselling doesn’t mean that a therapist is going to tell you and your partner what to do.
A talk therapist instead helps you both communicate in healthy over destructive ways. They guide you to truly listen to and see each other, then together find your own answers to your issues.
Anyone who is in a relationship they want to work on. And yes, that can be a throuple, or a group relationship.
Yo do not need to be married or monogamous to go to couples counselling, you just need to be in a committed relationship you want to improve.
Note that many people now attend ‘premarital couples counselling’. They do therapy to make sure they are on the same page with what they want from a life together. The point is to be sure that marriage is the right step.
Any issue that is bothering you and causing tension between you. Popular issues in couples counselling include:
Differences of opinion
This can be that classic dishwasher situation. Or one partner’s party lifestyle the other has outgrown. Or it could be one of you wants to live abroad, or to quit their job. Which leads to the next point.
Money.
Money is actually a very common issue for couples to fight over! And talking about differences in money management is not at all taboo when it comes to therapy, it’s a welcome topic.
Parenting.
One parent is cast as good cop, the other as bad cop, and resentment and conflict happens. Therapy helps you get on the same page with your parenting approach and learn to be a united front for your kids.
Whether to have kids.
If you both aren’t sure about having kids, or both have different opinions on this? You can look at what those doubts are, if they are or aren’t surmountable, or if being childless is the best option.
Extended family.
It can be about in laws, or adult siblings, an extended family member moving in, or dealing with loss or a change to your extended family.
Sex and intimacy.
A difference of sex drive is a very common issue. Or it might be one partner living through an illness that has changed their feelings about their body.
And also, of course, dealing with an affair and the fallout from betrayal.
Big life changes.
Moving home, kids leaving the nest, losing a child or a parent, one partner dealing with illness, retirement, gender choices… these are all issues that can affect a relationship.
Marriage.
Again, the big trend lately is premarital couples counselling. Yes, therapy is an investment, but it’s one well spent if it avoids a costly marriage only to find out you aren’t really well matched a year later. Therapy helps you get clear on shared values and your life plan.
Communication issues.
How we handle any of the above issues relates to how we communicate. Therapy helps you start listening and sharing.
To summarise the benefits, couples therapy helps you to:
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remember shared values
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understand and improve relationship dynamics
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communicate in constructive ways
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stop destructive ways of speaking like blame
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listen fully
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feel connected
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be honest and get things in the open
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find compromises you can both live with
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make decisions and goals that move you forward
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commit to making the relationship work
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or commit to a healthy and respectful separation.
Time to stop squabbling and start therapy? Use our easy booking tool now to find your perfect couples therapist. And yes, you can also do couples therapy online.
