18 Signs you Have a Victim Mentality

by Harley Therapy
Reviewed by Dr Sheri Jacobson

Victim mentality refers to a mindset which seeks out feelings of persecution to either avoid responsibility or gain attention. Those struggling with victim mentality often believe life is both beyond their control and out to hurt them. So what are the signs you have victim mentality and what can be done to help?

The Signs of Victim Mentality

  • You find blame in other people for your misery
  • You’re default position is that life is conspiring against you
  • You are an eternal pessimist always seeing the glass as half empty. You can also be cynical
  • You catastrophise, often blowing problems out of proportion
  • You feel individuals are trying to bring you down
  • You feel singled out
  • You spend endless hours reliving painful memories that make you feel more like a victim
  • You complain even when things are generally positive
  • You cannot see other perspectives when seeking help for problems
  • You often experience feelings of powerlessness and an inability to cope with difficulties
  • You feel victimised when offered criticism which is meant constructively
  • You will not to take full responsibility for your own circumstances
  • Everyone seems to be in a better place than you are
  • You treat feeling sorry for yourself like a leisure activity
  • You surround yourself with people with a similar mentality
  • To you, the world is a negative place
  • You like to share your troubles with others
  • You are prone to self-deprecation

The solution

Because victim mentality is actually a learned behaviour, you can in fact ‘unlearn’ it to form a better outlook on life. The process can take time and be intense however. Especially if the mindset is connected to issues such as abuse, neglect or trauma.

Dealing with this state of mind means you will need to face head on any shame, sadness or fear that playing the victim distracts you from.

It is recommended you gain support when looking at your victim mentality. Our therapists will give you a non-judgemental, safe environment for you to explore this issue. They will subsequently empower you to learn improved ways of thinking.

Browse therapists specialising in dealing with victim mentality

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