Set big goals every year? But nothing ever changes?
So how to move forward in life, when it seems you have been stuck for what seems forever?
Always say you want to know how to move forward in life, but refuse to see that the issue might lie with you? Blaming it on ‘bad luck’, or choose to be a victim? You won’t get anywhere fast.
If you don’t know exactly what the problem is, that’s okay. Taking responsibility for the situation is itself a powerful step. You can then start to ask yourself good questions. "How might the ways I see myself, others, and the world be holding me back?".
If you think you know what you want, but remain stuck in life?
It might be because you are actually confusing what you truly want with what others want for you, or what you think you should want.
Getting unstuck means identifying your own personal values, and looking at what makes you feel energised and fully yourself.
Often the biggest barrier to moving forward is our mind. It tells us a steady stream of things to keep us in a comfort zone.
This can be because as a child we experienced neglect or trauma. Those negative ways of seeing things actually kept us safe. But as adults, avoiding things that seem scary is no longer a useful tactic.
Write out all your negative thoughts and fears, no matter how silly they seem. You aren’t good enough, people will laugh at you, your family will be disappointed, you will fail….
What proof do you have these things are true? What proof might you have that they aren’t true? What might be a more realistic way of seeing things?
Often we are stuck in life because we assume the way we see things is the only way, or we mistake our assumptions for facts.
A quick way of getting unstuck is to try seeing yourself, your life, and your problem from a totally different perspective.
What would your five year old self say? Your 85 year-old self? What would you think if you were the Queen of England? The richest person in the world? What would the Buddha make of it all?
If your life is in a rut it is because you are holding onto something. It might be a person, a thing, a situation, or a belief.
In order to create space for the life we truly want we need to let go. What is it you might lose if you move forward in life? Are you ready to lose that thing now?
Write out all the reasons you tell yourself you can’t move forward towards what you want. Not enough time, space, money, feels impossible.
If none of these blocks were true, and all were removed, would you still want what you say you want? And actually, are these blocks true, can you prove it? Or have you just been telling yourself that?
Looking at that list of blocks, what things could other people you know easily help with?
One of the fastest ways to move forward faster in life is too stop trying to do everything ourselves.
And that includes not trying to deal with the mental and emotional stress of moving forward alone.
How to move forward in life? Hire a counsellor or psychotherapist. You can save yourself years if not decades of struggle, or even avoid a life of never moving forward at all. Isn’t that a worthwhile investment to make?
Ready to get unstuck for once and for all? Use our easy booking tool to find a therapist you like and can afford, and you'll be on your way.
Andrea M. Darcy is a mental health and wellbeing expert and mentor, who has done training in person-centred counselling and coaching. Find her on Instagram @am_darcy
