Intimacy isn't just about romantic relationships. It's about ALL relationships.
To be intimate means to be known. It means you let people see the real you, both good and bad, and accept other people for who they are.
Secretly afraid of letting anyone too close? Here are 5 signs you might be.
Having a lot of friends is great. Except it’s not so great if you are always collecting more ‘friends’ so you have a great excuse to never spend too much time with just one. It’s the same with always being out in groups. Intimacy requires sharing private thoughts and feelings, but this is harder if you are never alone.
Always seeing the flaws in other people means you have a good excuse to push them away. And it means you get to seem perfect. Intimacy requires admitting to your own weaknesses, and learning to accept that nobody else is perfect, either.
Yes, modern life is busy. But if you are always taking on new things or filling your time with small tasks, you might unconsciously be creating a life that means you can tell people you are ‘too busy’ to see them. You even avoid intimacy with yourself, because you are so busy there is not time to face up to what you are thinking and feeling.
Strong opinions are one thing. Strong inflammatory opinions that shut down conversations are quite another. If we are afraid of intimacy, they are a perfect tactic to push people back. Real intimacy means being open to other people, and being open to being wrong.
You can fit in anywhere and make anyone like you. Sounds like a wonderful skill to have, right? More like a lonely one. If you switch your personality depending on who you talk to you are hiding your real self. It means nobody gets to know you, and in the long run can even lead to an identity crisis.
Is your fear of intimacy leaving you lonely and secretly depressed? Our therapists understand. Why not book a session and see if we can help you?